Diary of Disconnection
DAHLIA HARLAN
Monday
Gran’s house is so BORING! I bet Gran gave me this diary because even she knows it’s boring here. Gran suggested I write whatever I’m feeling. Well, I’m feeling like I wish my phone didn’t die!!!
Tuesday
My parents have ABANDONED me here for two weeks so they could go to their friend’s stupid wedding. I bet they have phones and electricity while I’m stuck here without either! Gran keeps trying to get me to come out of the house, but it’s so cold outside. There’s nothing to do out there anyway. Urgh I’m so cut off from EVERYONE! I bet that pest Jane is making a move on Jake now that I’m away. She says she doesn’t like him but it’s totally obvious she does.
Wednesday
I MISS MY PHONE! And my friends of course. But mostly Jake and his smile and the way he makes me laugh… I wonder if he’s missing me. I mean, he’s not my boyfriend YET but we have been getting closer. I hope that doesn’t change just because I can’t text him for a few weeks. This is such bad timing! I’m going to ask Gran if there’s somewhere I can go to charge my phone. It’s inhumane to be cut off from everyone like this!!
Still Wednesday (eyeroll)
SHE SAID NO! She said it’ll help me listen and pay attention. TO WHAT?!? Gran said, ‘You’ll notice more life without your phone,’ which is ironic because my friends probably think I am DEAD! I HATE it here!!
Thursday
Well, that was kinda harsh. I mean, I love Gran. She’s the best. Gran is a great listener and speaks to me like a friend rather than lecturing me like I’m just some silly fifteen-year-old girl who knows nothing. We’ve had some great chats by the fire over her homemade lemon and ginger tea. I even told her about Jake. But her house is just so boring!
Gran’s a Rejector which means there is absolutely no technology in her house. It’s like she’s allergic. I can’t remember her ever coming to our house, we always visit her. Probably because she only has a pushbike! Gran borrowed a bike from someone in her Rejector community and wants me to ‘reacquaint myself with bike riding.’ I haven’t ridden a bike in years and it’s MORTIFYING! But that bike is my only way out of here, so I reluctantly gave it a go today.
Gran is so, like, wise. She’s a bit like Yoda, but with better grammar (and she isn’t green). Which is why I don’t understand why she’s a Rejector. Her life could be so much easier! And it wouldn’t be so cold when you go to the toilet in the middle of the night. Thankfully she believes in plumbing!!
Also, I think Gran has RATS?! I saw something scuttle along my bedroom wall last night. Even more concerning was that Gran wasn’t worried when I told her!? Maybe infestations are the norm out here in Rejector territory?
Friday
I’m lying in bed all rugged up while I write. Gran – ever the early riser – has already put some more wood on the fireplace in my room. I must admit, I do like this about Gran’s house. The fireplace makes the room toasty warm, and it’s nice to fall asleep to the crackling fire.
I still wish I had my phone, but I can’t stay mad at Gran. It’s like she’s all soft edges. Last night she fired up the outdoor oven for pizzas and chocolate brownies. We took chairs and blankets outside and ate by the light of the oven while gazing up at the stars. The stars are INCREDIBLE out here! It’s weird to think that a whole heap of twinkling dots in the sky could be entertaining, but I was mesmerised by them. While star gazing and chatting, I asked why she’s a Rejector.
‘I can be more present without technology and more presents itself to me,’ she said. When I asked what she meant she said, ‘If you disconnect enough, you’ll see.’ Okaaaay Yoda. I was so relaxed out there that Gran even got me to agree to helping her in the garden today… sigh!
Friday Arvo
I think I’m unwell. I actually ENJOYED gardening!? Gran’s property is humongous, like you can’t see her neighbours, or even her boundary fence. One side of the house has a huge coop for chickens, and along the other side are six garden beds in parallel lines. This is clearly what Gran does with all her technology-free time! Gran walked me through the garden beds explaining what she had planted and why. It was painful at first, but Gran is so passionate that she made learning about vegetables almost interesting.
We got to one garden bed with frilly green leaves in a row and little orange heads just poking through the dirt… carrots! Gran showed me how to carefully pull the knobbly carrots from the ground, brush them off before placing them in her basket. Once they were all pulled up, we had to turn the soil. As I was putting new little seeds in the turned soil, I realised I kinda liked being out in the garden with Gran!? It was cold and I was getting dirty, but I just felt calmer; like my thoughts grew heavier – in a good way – and slowed down. Sometimes all I thought about was carrots and dirt and that was…strangely nice. Gran and I chatted as we worked but it wasn’t like we spoke non-stop. Now, sitting inside by the fire, I just feel so chillll.
Saturday
We rode the bikes to boring Brian’s house today. He was only interested in Rejector talk and lectured me worse than Mrs Brown during my Humanities class (she thinks she knows EVERYTHING!). I’m not sure what Gran sees in Brian.
Even though it was cold, the sun was shining all day. On the ride home, I started grinning like the biggest goof (thankfully Jake wasn’t around to see me!). I was really getting the hang of the loaner bike with its cute basket on the front. I found myself enjoying the feeling of the wind on my face while Gran tried to convince me that Brian isn’t normally that bad (sure Gran). The dirt roads around here are nothing like the roads in the city. There are barely any houses, no cars and thousands of trees and wattle bushes. The sound of the leaves rustling in the wind is better than any ASMR video I’ve seen on YouTube! And there are so many birds. Of course, Yoda knows ALL the different bird sounds – or calls as she says.
Saturday Night
The STRANGEST things keep happening! Gran and I had been sitting out under the stars for a few hours when out of the corner of my eye, I saw what looked like glowing gold dust slowly rising from the ground! I jumped and turned to get a better look, but it disappeared! I spun back to Gran, but she was gathering up her blanket and heading inside. She gave me this cheeky grin and said, ‘I think you’re disconnecting.’ I’M SORRY, WHAT!?! I hurried inside after her, looking over my shoulder to see if the dust would reappear but it didn’t. I thought I saw the stars twinkle gold, but I’m not totally sure.
Now I’m in bed too scared to sleep. Just a few minutes ago, I saw a rat hopping along my wall with gold dust trailing behind it! No way am I getting out of bed until morning. I will interrogate innocent old Gran tomorrow. She knows more than she is letting on, and I need to know because I am freaking out!
Sunday
Gran was in the kitchen standing by her old black stove poised to crack an egg over the frypan as soon as I woke up. I tried to ask her what was going on but she kept talking around my questions rather than answering them. She wouldn’t admit that she saw the gold dust, but she did say that she’s glad I’m disconnecting!? She kept talking in twists and turns until finally she said that she wished she could tell me more, but that she can’t and that she can’t even tell me why!? She smiled when she said this which was INFURIATING!
I didn’t want to yell at Gran, so I stormed outside and grabbed the loaner bike. My frustration powered my legs as I rode as fast and hard as I could down the dirt road away from Gran’s, only stopping when I thought I might pass out. As I was catching my breath, I saw a rat disappear into the long grass off the road with gold dust trailing behind it!? I dropped the bike and chased after it. I didn’t see it again, but I followed the trail of dust, weaving through the trunks of eucalyptus trees.
At one point, something fell on my head. I looked up to see cockatoos flying between trees and scratching their beaks on branches, dropping twigs and bark to the ground. When I looked back down, the gold dust was rising from the ground and swirling around my feet! I crouched down to touch it, but I couldn’t hold it. It just swirled around my hand and through my fingers as if carried by a light wind.
I was playing with the dust when the rat reappeared and said, ‘Hi Katrina.’ I almost DIED!! I yelled ‘Talking rat!’ which wasn’t my best moment. This caused the rat to stand on its hind legs, screw up its long-pointed nose and inform me that she absolutely was NOT a rodent – whoops! She told me her name is Ruby and she’s a potoroo. Up close, she doesn’t really look like a rat; she looks more like a tiny kangaroo but with littler ears and shorter hind legs causing her round belly to rest on the ground. She’s completely ADORABLE, but I kept this to myself.
Ruby gave me the answers I had been looking for… The gold dust is MAGIC!? And because I can see it, that makes me a see-er. Ruby commanded some of the dust around her front little paws then pushed it towards me. The dust swirled around me and through my hair leaving me feeling warm and tingly. I was kinda spooked at first, but Ruby said it’s her job to lift this thing called the Protection Enchantment which prevents see-ers from talking to non-see-ers about magic. That’s when it dawned on me – Gran is a see-er too! Now that I knew Gran wouldn’t talk in riddles, I was desperate to speak to her. I ran to my bike, lifted Ruby into the basket, and raced back to Gran’s.
Gran was standing on the front porch when we arrived. She was beaming as gold dust – MAGIC – swirled through the Jacaranda trees beside her home like fairy lights. Ruby jumped out of the basket and hopped behind me as I ran to Gran and threw my arms around her. She hugged me tightly, telling me that she knew I could disconnect! Excitement bubbled through Gran for the rest of the day. She spoke quickly and would often jump to her feet to demonstrate how she does magic! One time, she gathered magic in her hand and then with a flick of her wrist, jazz music started playing. Gran was so pleased with herself that she did the cutest little bops to the music! I laughed so much, my own excitement racing through me.
Now I’m in bed and writing this to try calm down. Unlike me, Ruby had no trouble falling asleep and she now snoring, curled up on a little cushion beside the fire – ADORABLE! I’m too excited to sleep because Gran is going to teach me how to do magic tomorrow!
Gran’s house is not so boring after all!
Dahlia Harlan worked as a lawyer for 10 years before finding her work-life balance was… unbalanced. She now juggles family responsibilities while completing her Bachelor of Arts degree at Macquarie University. She hopes to write a number of YA novels to keep her daughters, nieces and nephews reading.
