Almost
KARA METH
Caisley had walked this path through the forest more times than she could count, and she was certain the door had never been there before. She rubbed her eyes, worried that the early hour was playing a trick on her mind. But even with the sun only just kissing the branches, there was enough clarity for her to see that there was definitely a door sitting in the forest. It was slightly to the left of the main path, sitting in a little stream of slow-trickling water.
The door was, for all things considered, an ordinary looking door. It was blue, with a brass handle.
Caisley placed down the basket she had been carrying filled with fresh fruits from the markets she frequented weekly. An apple made a pitiful escape and toppled down into the water, the soft splash breaking the otherwise tranquil quiet of the forest. It flowed down the stream in the direction of the door before getting caught on a thistle-tree root and bobbing in place. Caisley lifted the hem of her skirts, kicked off her boots and stepped into the gently flowing stream. Icy-water bit at her ankles causing her to clench her teeth to prevent a shrill yelp from escaping.
Caisley crept towards the door. Her steps slow, as if she were approaching a crazed animal. She had nearly made it, her hand subconsciously reaching towards the handle when the apple, now escaped from the root, flowed towards the door and softly bumped it. A resounding bang caused Caisley to grip her ears and sink to her knees. The sound catapulted her into a memory of another time when she heard a loud thud. The night she almost found fairies.
*
‘Come on Juni!’ she gasped, willing her feet faster up the hill, ‘we’ll miss them! You need to move quicker!’
‘I’m trying Cais, my legs aren’t as long as yours!’ Juni snapped in return, ‘and, I didn’t even see the lights, are you sure they were there this time?’
‘Yes I’m sure!” Caisley panted, “but they’ll be gone before we reach them if you don’t hurry!’ Her bare fleet flew over the grassy hill. When she had seen the lights twinkling at the very tips of the trees by their cottage, she hadn’t stopped to think. She had shaken her younger sister awake and was out the back door without even donning her boots. She knew she shouldn’t be out here, that her Nana would scold the young girls for being out of bed at this hour, but she had to reach those lights. Her curiosity was like a fire in her chest that grew hotter the more she tried to ignore it. The brilliance of the lights couldn’t be natural, she knew they belonged to fairies, she just had to make it there to prove it.
Caisley reached the tree and glanced over her shoulder to see Juni just reaching the crest of the hill, her nightdress amok from the sprint. Before thinking, Caisley jumped to the nearest branch, heaving herself up, the only thing on her mind the magical beings that awaited her discovery.
‘Cais wait!’ Juni shouted.
Caisley climbed higher than she had ever been before. She perched on a thin branch near the tip of the tree, her heart racing as she swung her head around and saw the delicate wings of the fairies fluttering. They created a magical golden glow that illuminated the night-sky, and made the air sing with wonder. Holding her breath, Caisley reached a hand out to the creatures, the burning fire in her dancing in delight. But as a fairy drifted closer the fire turned to ice – for it was not a magical creature at all, but the soft-body of a firefly blinking back at her.
Suddenly, the glow no longer felt magical, the night no longer sung. As the realisation dawned on her that there was no magic here, Caisley felt her foot slip from the branch. She plummeted to the ground with a loud thud.
*
Caisley slowly rose from the stream, her skirts now soaked. She reached for the wrist she had snapped from the fall that night, gently massaging out the phantom pain. What was that noise?
Caisley circled the door. It had to be old, the blue paint had cracked so badly in places that the wood underneath was visible. But besides the age, everything appeared ordinary. Caisley searched harder for anything peculiar about the door's appearance, something to explain the noise she had heard. A symbol or a sign that could hint at why it was here or how it had arrived. There was nothing.
With a sigh, Caisley stepped away, cursing herself for her foolishness. There was nothing enchanting about the door. No signs or riddles etched into the wood that suggested a magical existence. It was just a door. An odd, lone door that had appeared in the forest, but still, only a door.
As Caisley turned, crestfallen towards her basket, she caught a shift of light in the corner of her eye. Silence pressed in around her. She spun back, her heartbeat galloping, It couldn’t be. But there, a thin glow leaked from under the frame. She jolted back towards it so fast that she almost lost her footing. Holding her breath, as if not to break the spell, she crouched down, not feeling the chill of the stream in her rush of anticipation. Caisley dipped her head low, brushing the water as she peered beneath the frame. She had to squint her eyes against the sudden bright glare that emerged, the light now spilled like molten silver atop the surface of the water.
In shock, Caisley rose to her feet. There was something otherworldly about this door. She felt the fire growing in her once more. Not the roaring flames it once was, but a small flickering ember that refused to go out.
This time she couldn’t resist. She lifted her hand and brushed her fingertips against the rough, withered surface. A chill coiled through her, wrapping down her spine like a snake before worming its way into her chest. For a heartbeat, the stream, the door and the early morning itself blurred into something she had felt before – a night where mist had whispered lies to her. The night she had almost been brushed by the deadly touch of a spirit.
*
Caisley woke to the flicker of movement from beyond her window. Pale shapes floated above the marsh beyond the treeline, barely visible from the starlight peaking through the clouds. She pressed her face against the window to get a better glimpse of the spindly figures. Spirits.
With her heart racing, Caisley crept from her bed, past Juni’s sleeping form and towards the back door where she quietly slipped into her boots. When she left the dimly lit cottage, the clouds blocked the moon so completely that Caisley had to squint to make out the hovering forms she headed towards.
As she reached the line of the forest, her foot caught on a weed, and she fell into a hard tree. Her wrist stung from the impact, it was never quite the same after her fall years ago.
From where she was against the tree, she could see the spirits not far off. Caisley’s heart hammered with a mix of thrill and dread as she watched the creatures. Her Nana used to tell her and Juni stories of people who never felt a lick of warmth again after a single brush of a spirits touch. Even though she knew they were foolish folklore stories meant to scare children, a chill ran through her at the thought.
The clouds still shielded the moon and stars, and yet from this close the forms of the spirits appeared so clear. It was as if there was an ethereal glow, illuminating the creatures for Caisley to see. Silent as a shadow, she dared to step out from behind her tree and creep closer to the waters edge. Caisley’s eyes never left the creatures, too fascinated by their swirling forms and seemingly random movements, which was why when she made it to the water her boot slipped in before she could stop it. The soft splash made Caisley’s eyes snap down. She held her breath, waiting for what felt like an eternity before glancing back up to the creatures.
All of them had stopped. It was hard to make out any real face in their mist-like forms, but it seemed as if every single one was looking directly at her.
Caisley didn’t move, frozen with a fear so deep it rooted her in place. The spirits began to move towards her. She believed the stories her Nana had told her now, the air chilled to a frosty bite as they shifted closer. The spirit closest to her had its weedy arm outstretched, as if it meant to brush the soft hairs that curled around her face. Caisley squeezed her eyes shut, the chill at her brow growing painful now that the figure was so close.
Just as she felt the icy fingers brush the hairs, light flooded the forest, so bright she could sense it even with her eyes closed. The harsh coldness that had just surrounded her had disappeared. Caisley peaked open her eyes, expecting to find the staring creatures. But there were no spirits. The clouds had parted, causing beaming moonlight to illuminate the sliver tendrils of mist, that floated lazily above the water.
No. There had been spirits here, she was sure of it. Warmth had returned to her body, and yet the fire inside of her remained cool. Caisley's eyes roamed the forest, trying to catch any glimpse of what she was certain was here moments ago, but the mist remained, seeming to mock her in its slow movement.
She snatched her foot back from the water and fell backwards into the hard earth.
*
Caisley snatched her hand back from the door and fell backwards into the stream. She blinked, the memory melting like shadows at dawn. An echo of fear coursed through her body, as she tried to unscramble the past from the present. She placed her hand against her chest where she could feel her racing heartbeat. The sun was now beginning to rise fully, causing light to glint off the water's surface and casting the door in a golden glow. But the sight no longer held promise. The water was still, the door silent, ordinary. Ordinary and yet taunting for the promise it had held. Magic, she realised, could only exist in the unknown, in the things she didn’t touch, the things she didn’t see or explore too deeply.
Caisley stood, forcing herself to take a step back. The door waited, stubborn, yet the curiosity that had flamed the fire in her had gone out. Every time she stumbled upon wonder left her with stinging disappointment. The sparkling lights amongst the trees that vanished before she could touch them, flickering figures that hid in the moonlight. Her hope had betrayed her every time. Whenever she had sought proof, she had broken the spell. Even now she could almost hear the whispered lies of the mist tricking her senses, but the ache of reality pushed them back.
Caisley took another deliberate step and turned, finally breaking eye-contact with the enigmatic door. The forest seemed to hold its breath as she bent to pick up her basket before leaving the stream all together. She glanced once more at the blue door. She had found echoes of magic, almost, but not quite. That was enough.
As she walked home, the morning mist hung in the air. For a moment she imagined twinkling shapes she might have seen, twirling through the trees. She did not glance back.
Behind her, the cracked blue door creaked open, and something, quick and delicate, slipped out and stared curiously at the girl walking away.
Kara is a reader, writer and primary-school teacher from Sydney's Northern Beaches with a soft spot for romance and fantasy. When she’s not buried in a book, you’ll find her playing animal crossing, because if she can’t live in a fantasy world, she’ll make her own.
